stomp!

thecookedasian beckons!

of serenity and lenten reflections

the serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things i cannot change; 

courage to change the things i can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

living one day at a time; 

enjoying one moment at a time; 

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as i would have it; 

trusting that He will make all things right

if i surrender to His will;

that i may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next.

amen.

reflections

if there's one word i cannot lower case when i blog, it would be God. and that goes along the pronouns associated with Him. i revere Him though i haven't seen Him. i believe in Him though I only knew Him from kindergarten. i trust Him though I sometimes doubt His intentions. i love Him like a son to a father.

never do i feel so small everytime i walk around the mall, when i step into a bus, hike to the mountains, swim to the sea. i recognize his omnipresence and omnipotence. He has a hand that touches everything, changes landscape, breathes one's head to sleep. i recognize my transience, that we are tentative. i am but a tiny speck in His universe, a dust in the wind that will soon become part of the earth.

i chose to reflect on the prayer not because i'm an alcoholic nor an addict, nor i want to be anonymous. the prayer, which has become a mantra of alcoholics anonymous, has one way or another changed their lives for the better and let them look at life at a different perspective, a brighter one. all along He carried me that's why i only see a pair of footprints in the sand. my mettle would've worn out if it were not for Him. He heals me so i can tread further, He inspires me so i know where to go.

the prayer is simple but it is universal. ponder on, search your own prayer.

have a blessed lent.

when pigs bite more than they can chew

"twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. no question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. the creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

the animal farm has never been the same when greed corrupted the pigs. instead, they lorded than led their minions. every decree they pass was for the convenience of their breed. contemptuous, deceitful, that's what they are. 

a striking parallelism, however, can be observed in the palace by the river with the main antagonist, napoleon, self-proclaiming protagonism with a twist. promising his minions with the good life but hard labor must be spent to deserve this while he and his ilk have already leveraged the good life ahead of the pack. the other animals could only accept their fate and hope for relief in the future. but later, to no avail. he made sure that he protects this benefit. and so, napoleon raised puppies to be rogue and rabid to impose and secure his power. it quite paid off well. all rivals are silenced and warded off from the farm including snowball, his main contender.

not to mention, the halls of batasan with napoleon in multiplicity, have an allegiance of their breed like no other. an allegiance that would extend their amenities, one that would wield greater power. and who doesn't like power? it's like the forbidden fruit of eden, when bitten it consumes you. fortunately though, there are still dignified pigs in these halls, like snowball. pardon the confusion but they still do exist.

and unlike the animal farm, the citizenry are critical and aware and would stop at nothing to defend the dignity of their nation. it will start by careful selection of genuine leaders on 2010. and any attempts to stall this should not be tolerated.

on april 13, the gates of congress will open once again. we will scrutinize these 'men' and find out where their loyalty really lie, for the people or napoleon?

it is unfortunate that while orwell was only intent to denounce stalin's ways during his time, his story seems become more apparent in his distant future and for more governments. history has his way to reinvent itself that's more potent, more infecting.

hope this nation of servants resist the tyranny of (some) public servants. let us put these pigs where they ought to be placed.

i'm thinking bacon and eggs for breakfast.

###

hence, commence!

there is a revolution convulsing

seething, longing, conversing

of part-time rants, raves from solitude 

of long walks and cerebral intercourse

a reason that breathes, a reason that yearns for meaning

there is a season that confounds, that profound

pieces of silver pennies that meld with ferrous scatter

the flightless bird claws the litter, 

oh, what useless matter

prey she is, a pawn to nature's (t)reason

--

the nail rusts without a fight

it sinks deep to hide its plight 

the slightest flick consumes the pile

orange hues dance to the wind's persistence

the ember will soon cease to glow

now the moon and stars seize the night, and warily stoop 

look up and stand up to your volition

the cheshire cat smiled yet again, or is it a smirk?

and she would like the verdict.

###

what's motivating north korea?

any time from now until april 8 perhaps, north korea will launch a rocket that will explore space. so they say. but the rest of the world are thinking otherwise. this is a missile launch in the guise of a space probe. that's what everybody think. 

this rogue state seems insatiable for world attention and it's doing a good job, so far. diplomacy has been quite an ordeal to all pacifists concerned. years of isolation from the global community does not deter them from being isolated even further. they continue to be provocative.

this latest act, only an aerial view of the rocket any country could muster, could define what the world will be getting into days after they launch. japan is readying to shoot down any debris from the rocket, america is vague as to what consequences north korea suffer should they pursue. south korea could only hope for the best. russia and china will just be watching. hmmm...

north korea proclaimed that any counter attack of the rocket is an act of war. indeed taunting. this is not the show everybody would like to watch.

let's just hope for the best. that diplomacy will still work.

but really, what's motivating north korea? why the confidence?

###

references:

http://tinyurl.com/dlvph6

http://tinyurl.com/cgp63j

ha(ra)iku uno: hayup, kumbaga!

ang asong bulol

akay-akay ni tatay

humahagulgol

ang ingay nitong

patong putak ng putak

tuloy nadulas

napariwara

itong baboy sa dampa

palaboy laboy

kibit-balikat

itong kuwagong kirat

kindat ng kindat

kanyang kawangis

ibong nakatihaya

patay-patayan

ang pusang gala

hayan na't paririto

lagot ka birdie

habang si unggoy

humahagikhik, ik, ik!

saka pumanhik

###

don't quit

by clinton howell 

when things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

when the road you're trudging seems an uphill,

when the funds are low, and the debts are high,

and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

when care is pressing you down a bit,

rest if you must, but you don't quit.

life is queer with its twists and turns

as every one of us sometimes learns,

and many a failure turns about,

when he might have won he had stuck it out;

don't give up though the pace is slow,

you may succeed with another blow.

often the goal is nearer than

it seems to a faint and faltering man,

often the struggler has given up

when he might have captured the victor's cup.

and he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

how close he was to the golden crown.

success is failure turned inside out,

the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

and you never can tell how close you are,

it may be near when it seems so far;

so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

it's when things seem worst,

that you musn't quit.

###

the politics and geology of climate change, a roundup

strange things are happening. mother nature is acting up.

seemingly though, every government's answer is firefighting. long-term solutions are still at bay. words but no action. promises that remains as such. perfect pitch yet no bite.

speaking of firefighting, the conflagration of the densely droughted forests of australia is both horrifying and regrettable. not only did it burned acres of foliage but claimed lives as well, humans and animals alike (http://tinyurl.com/coapgn). the past years have been marked with similar occurrences from america to greece. will this continue to persist?

the island country of maldives, famous for its pristine beaches and breathtaking geoscapes, is fearing it would be landless soon, should the sea levels continue to rise at unprecedented rate. its current president gears up to find land and relocate his entire country, seriously (http://tinyurl.com/5usvrq). how many more islands will fear its existence? i think the philippine rep to the miss universe will have to seriously consider recalculating the number of islands we will have soon, high tide or low tide.

recently, the red river of the north midwest is experiencing record floodings due to saturated ground and melted snow worsened by rain and snow storms. the looming swelling of the river, though, witnessed a determination of human spirit as residents helped one another in putting sandbags to heighten their dike and protect their properties (http://tinyurl.com/dhuuwk). the good news is that the water level is beginning to mellow a bit.

then the north pole. the meltdown is real and previously impassable straits are beginning to open up (http://tinyurl.com/d82wmy). both astonishing and haunting is this development, are we ready to be accustomed with an iceless north pole? but more than that, the race is on in tapping the vast, oil-rich potential of the arctic. and russia have already, appallingly, dropped the flag in its seabed.

even mountains are wearing out. italy and switzerland consider redrawing their borders with the changing of the landscape of the alps (http://tinyurl.com/cujqyu). will we no longer see mountains but hills?

i don't mean to be a prolific apocalyptic but i am afraid. my generation is afraid. i can only put forth small steps.

blame it on 19th century for the industrial revolution, thus, the continued emission of carbon. blame it on high-yield economics that industries conspire to reap and benefit from mother nature. blame it on all governments for failing to act. blame it on apathy or the lack of urgency.

mother nature is about to make the biggest shift, geologically. she will still persist. but can we?

are we about to witness in shock and awe as she makes this transformation? 

nevertheless, strange things call for meaningful and prompt acts. it maybe tough one but everybody's got to do it. one venue is the copenhagen climate conference. the penguins are watching.

###

can one hour affect the climate?

but can one hour make a difference? 

hell, yes!

the coordinated response to the call to vote earth by switching off the lights last march 28 was overwhelming. unprecedented, even. a billiion people were expected to join the switch off by 830 pm local time, the philippines reportedly leading with record participation of 650 communities across the archipelago (http://tinyurl.com/cjeeqp).

familiar monuments and cityscapes are flipping the switch. imagine the eiffel tower of paris, the big ben of london, bird's nest of beijing and the egyptian pyramids, off. the bustling lights of hollywood, hongkong, sydney, off. how would earth look like from outer space at that moment? could be that darkness when we haven't discovered light bulbs and neon lights yet. an interesting wonder.

and yeah, so what?

although the switch off has a minute effect or no effect at all to the continued changing of the climate patterns across the globe, this act is more than a show but a call to all governments to make meaningful and sustainable steps to address the issue of climate change. and it should be done with a matter of priority, of urgency.

and america, being the gargantuan consumer of fossil fuels, and inevitably the leading carbon emitter, must make big steps. abandoning the kyoto protocol was its biggest mistake. sin no more for mother earth, mr. joe. not only america, but china, india, japan, europe are on the watchlist. the copenhagen conference climate (http://tinyurl.com/bq77mj) is pivotal as the world will watch how these governments intend to act on this issue.

we cannot afford a status quo.

###

surviving the 5k condura run

after two weeks of ten-lap swimming as my preparation, the day of reckoning beckons. condura run at the fort. and the beneficiaries are my cetacean friends of the deep. the ultimate is 21k. i just cannot fathom the distance. so we stuck it out with 5k.

haven't had a good sleep, or didn't at all. can't tell. must be the espresso the night before.

my stomach is feeling funny. but it recovered with a hotdog sandwich.

with me are friends cum activists for the whale sharks, ivy, gala, jb and cathy.

when i saw the starting line, i already set my eyes on the prize. i will ace this. my whale shark friends will be proud of me.

when the gun broke loose, i started to set my pace. for a few minutes, i was ahead with my friends but not with everybody else. not yet. haha. after a while, i was feeling the fire. outran people with my chin up. i felt powerful, superior, them useless. 

but then weakness got the better of me. i couldn't catch my breath. it felt like i was on life support, panting, breathing heavily. suddenly, i was brisk walking then walking. people now outpace me. and they do that with their chin up. there goes my inferiority complex reeling in.

then i saw the hydration pit stop. the clutter of plastic cups are everywhere. what a shame! these people are forgetting what they pledged for. you synthetic bunch of peanuts! in a fit of aghast, i muttered 'huy, basura mo' when i saw one throwing his consumed cup, like he was running on a dump site. then i zoomed and ran...hehe

pain is good that's why you have to do it. i passed by the quote and it didn't console or inspire me at all. i was so damn tired running, i might get caught by the fellow runner i could've pissed off earlier.

the feeling of a good run is better than sitting wishing you were running. yeah, right. but the road quote might've signalled i'm almost there. then i start to brisk walk and walk again. it felt good. at least it's better than sitting wishing i was running. a few minutes later ivy and gala caught me pacing like in a trance.

hopes are getting high that this will be over soon when i saw serendra. then i saw the big 'start' banner. weeeeh! i forgot to see the clock. but i surmised we did a good 20 minutes of run and walk and pace. but it surely is a run overall. by the way, jb was ahead of us, said he managed 16 minutes. and cathy was in 3k.

apparently, i was on a delirious fit in acing 5k, imagining myself breaking the finish line first with arms wide open...haha but the certificate handed to me was an achievement enough. that i survived my first run for a cause.

p.s. my other site is savethebutanding.multiply.com. it fits the bill...hehe happy!

###

the dichotomy of nicole

"i can’t help but entertain doubts on whether the sequence of events in subic in november of 2005 really occurred the way the court found them to have happened." - nicole

the recantation (or is it?) revealed the true nicole sans her pixelated face on tv then. the rape then lies, no pun intended, in the deepest recesses of her cerebral cortex. did she really consent to the sex? it is only she who can answer that question. thus, the second affidavit. 

but there are a lot of implications and subliminal messages to her purported about-faced statement. it made her less of a 'rape' victim, reduced to a woman who succumbed to her physiological needs. but more than the 'sex' or the 'rape', the legal process made her entire experience, and the nation's as well, a circus. a parody of sorts. and many turned their backs on nicole.

i am not one of them. i am not yet convinced.

so how authentic is the second affidavit? who crafted this fine piece of statement? why do i find it hard to believe nicole wrote this? or said this? the snoopster should come out and tell all. if not nicole, some mole should know more. 

i would understand why nicole left for good, to the home of the offender. america, that is. considering the apparent number of lawyers we have here in the country, we have a sinister approach in defending the offended. seems like our justice system believes in the cliche that time heals all wounds. and money can cure the wounds of the afflicted. it is just so appalling how people can numb their ethics to the smell of the bucks.

her transit out of the country is an emphasis of resignation that her justice would not be served to her best interests. it is served to the interests of the powerful with appreciable shots of milk and honey. one obama call rattled the snakes out of malacanang. is it an indication of something messy? like sulfur, rotten egg smell-messy?

i am definitely aghast as to how things turned out. dirty, dirty tactics. dirty, dirty lawyers. i could empathize how hard the jim carey character went through in telling the truth in the movie, liar, liar. you guess it right, he was a lawyer. 

there could only be a few lawyers left here with dignity. stand proud and propagate the very essence of your profession. we wouldn't know. you tell us what is justice. then show us.

the conspirators may have been successful in staging nicole as the bidang kontrabida. but her rape not only violated her anatomy but the whole nation as well. 

so much for telenovelas. and the show may not be over yet.

###

pangs of pain

it hurts, you know. that sensation reeling through the inner recesses, a writhing discomfort. the only hope for relief - an insanely obtuse nonchalance of popping the pills to emancipation. four hundred milligrams going six hundred but to no avail. consuming the cold fat didn't help either. uggh! it lingers like hell. 

if only, i can sleep this off. tis the time i welcome a narcolepsy slide, counting sheep till i lose track. but this big bad wolf is a waking nightmare. if i can't kill you now, i'll hunt you in my slumber. 

i loathe you, you're worse than the boogeyman.

i curse you, like the serpent of eden.

like acid to water, like rain on fire,

woe be gone!

tomorrow i shall see my dentist.

###

spare science from politics

have they got no dignity at all? reviving a two-billion dollar fraud for what? the fuss about the moth-balled bataan nuclear power plant to be possibly operational is gaining ground, sparks a lot of debates. the flack about the talk is the lack of credible references to support this proposal. not only a sham but a shameless display of political perversion. actually not perverse anymore because it's becoming a culture.

what's more appalling is the congressional proponent's (mark cojuangco) misuse of a scientific paper to cite the stability of the area for nuclear operations. apparently, the paper does not suffice such conclusion which irked the author of the scientific paper (dr. kelvin rodolfo).

there in the vdo snippet below is the duel of words between these men.

http://161.58.192.236/vdo/?p=58

imagine the credibility of the proposal without backing from the scientific community. and the gall to use such information without consultation from the author. politics in this country is mired with too much dirt, the least they can do is spare science from their crap.

today, dr. rodolfo will be having a talk about the bnpp situation before leaving the country for good (daw?). i only wish him the best.

###

of friday the 13th and the yoopee fair

the traffic along edsa, bad as it is, becomes even worse. makes you think where these people are heading. our taxi meter reads 300 kachinggos! i surmised most of them must be heading to the up fair.

at the fair, we filled in through the long queue of eager participants snaking to get to the entrance doors. we patiently waited and got caught up already with the countdown to feb 14, 00:00 with a bang. there you go, fireworks display. it's like new year celebrated twice a year. 

but alas! when we're at the entrance, we got the wrong tickets. they're slated for the feb 14 gig. bummer! that's friday the 13th taking its toll on us. 

later an unfortunate incident happened. the concert had to stop because of those 'crazy jumping orcs' banging and downing the fences. their notoriety during these events made me think this is coming. but it's quite alarming and something should be done here. this is the time of the year where yoopee students just wanna have a good time after being stretched by exams and long readings and the alumni feeling nostalgic once again through music and circus. if i have my way, i will shoot these orcs one by one. and reduce them to ashes. 

and when i looked at today's theme: "loverage." oh well. but i still wanna shoot those orcs.

###

the valentine effect

it didn't bit me at all but it did quite struck a chord in my optic nerve. the internet, being the new media, reserves a lot of space for this occasion. from articles on where to have a budget valentine dinner to bloggers sharing their valentine plans, to superpoke giving chocolate strawberries in facebook. the ad walls talk a lot as well as you stride along the walkways and the thoroughfares. they're like screaming at you to buy them. 

and of course, the sea of couples that passed you, contained in their own worlds. the evidence of gift-giving are swooning for public attention, seemingly telling, 'hey loser, where's your lover?'. flowers and chocolates must be selling like jamaican patties right now or outsold even. but mind you, these motley pairs walking along, holding hands are becoming more and more varied. kinda violates my catholic sense, but who am i to judge.

the restos abound with not only couples but families and friends getting together. are the bells still ringing 'tis the season to be jolly? the silverscreen reels in the rom-com flicks and everyone's digging it. the grocery stores, the shops, the streets, there are just too many people everywhere. the malls are really painting the town red. as if we haven't felt the pangs of recession, yet.

love's becoming a merchandise. and everyone's buying it. i won't dole a penny for it.

when i glared at myself at the car window, i can only see an L on my forehead.nevertheless, ii must say this is the most celebrated universal emotion in the world. love, that is. i do not officially declare myself as the grinch of valentine's day, i'm just being observant. but love must be a great feeling. the grinch would soon find out.

###

anatomy of a lie

stammering, stuttering crook

you think you're off the hook

think you're so cool, you fool!

those pruned lips utter cursed justice

beneath the veil is total blindness

wear off that dogged persistence

those doe eyes fail to impress

tight-lipped still? suppress them not.

sweaty palms rubbed against your skin

shaky, caught bloody red-handed

implore not the saints, they will cast people of your ilk

now tell me your story, i'm all ears

the water will simmer down along with your fears

take a bow alright, it may be your last performance

dim not the lights, beam them up

that cheshire cat smile is a force to reckon with

sing, sing, sing like alice in wonderland

roll up your sleeves, clear your throat

you have the world to tell.

###

(i won't be a part of the) lost generation

/more than poetry, it is a statement. a statement on how you can influence the changing norms of society. paradigm shift to yourself, later on you will realize, everybody's on the same page. this is a strong message and this will be appended on my long-term goals. thanks to jonathan reed, a film studies major at georgia state university, who won second place in a video contest with this piece of work. thanks to penelope for reading this aloud to me in the virtual space./

i am part of a lost generation

and i refuse to believe that

i can change the world

i realize this may be a shock but

“happiness comes from within.”

is a lie, and

“money will make me happy.”

so in 30 years i will tell my children

they are not the most important thing in my life

my employer will know that

i have my priorities straight because

work

is more important than

family

i tell you this

once upon a time

families stayed together

but this will not be true in my era

this is a quick fix society

experts tell me

30 years from now, i will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce

i do not concede that

i will live in a country of my own making

in the future

environmental destruction will be the norm

no longer can it be said that

my peers and i care about this earth

it will be evident that

my generation is apathetic and lethargic

it is foolish to presume that

there is hope.

and all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .

read the message, then read it again in reverse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA

###

slumdogs slam 'em all

everybody loves a rags-to-riches story. who doesn't? moisturize with romance, it makes an even flawless texture. but wait there's more, spice it up with some bollywood-style movie making, you have a frenzy.

jamal is a mess. add another musketeer, his brother salim makes it twice the mess. worse, they're at the bottom pit of india's stratified society. orphaned when their mother was violently bludgeoned to death during a hindu-muslim conflict. adopted by a notorious syndicate that deploys children to the streets. even blinding them as these blind kiddie beggars singing india's novelty are a boon to his business. salim couldn't take this anymore and escaped with his brother leaving their third musketeer, latika, jamal's one true love, at the whims of their loathed foster father-slash-slumdog master. life has changed since and getting latika back safely became jamal's mission. the primary reason he joined the worldwide phenom game show, 'who wants to be a millionaire?'. and yeah, the indian version.

to be nonchalant about it, he aced his way to 20 million rupees, the game show's top prize. ooops, spoiler! =P but the more thrilling about his winning are the impressing references to the highlights of his destitute yet colorful life to each game's question. incredibly unbelievable, you may say. you will ponder its believability after you watch the movie. but it's a visual feast and a fine cinematic experience, nevertheless. hats off to danny boyle and co-director loveleen tandan. boyle's last pride was trainspotting which was eons ago.

what's more striking about the movie is its inference of india to the world, bollywood to the world to be exact. although, they have already gained quite a following outside india, me included**, this movie will cause a stir to world cinema. hollywood can't beat the largest film producer in the world. best if they collaborate. and that infusion of both production powerhouses is imminent in this movie.

notably though, despite the economic boom in india, it hardly blemishes the decrepit condition of its poor, the movie is very successful in presenting their appalling situation. brutal and survival of the fittest. another note is its striking parallelism to filipino poverty, except that they're more in india. above all, love is a central theme to most of bollywood movies i have seen. love despite strife and struggle on life's challenges. in the end, love prevails. with a dance number.

but did he find his one true love? 

D. it is written.

will this movie merit an oscar?

E. my take, no. but oscar will, perhaps.

blink

sunshine, peering through the hems

hawed the glory of morning

tangerine hues along silver lines

warmth casts asunder, like chaos

a beautiful mess.

dust settles, leaves crisp with each step

the puddle foretells, merely daunting

ripples, smudges-smeared leather

coffee wafting like city perfume

should be a fine weather, mr.beaver

gripping on the cold metal

fives, ones and quarters aplenty

bargain through the daily ropes

sea of faces, gripped to hope

in unison, heading everywhere

not wanting to be found

until hope sets, rises.

###

cnn quoted me saying

"filipinos look in awe and envy with america's victory. our brand of politics have gone to the dogs. nevertheless, obama is indeed an inspiration to the world."

this is the coolest election coverage ever. technology interfacing with history, totally nifty. facebook statuses from members around the globe stream per millisecond screaming to the whole world what they feel on this historic moment while a blow-by-blow flash video coverage by cnn reels on the side. and my status caught in the site for a few milliseconds with a statistically improbable hope that it will be read by the cnn anchors. from the metrics, 2000 status messages per minute. phew!

he's not a rockstar. nor a tennis hotshot. he just happens to be the president of the united states of america. the first african-american at that. but why the hype? aside from the previous point, people see him as an instrument for change. he will step in the bigger political arena with a tall order. it's gonna be a tough job but somebody's got to do it. obama is the man of the moment. and for the moments to come.

the inauguration of barrack obama is a success story. watching the coverage with waves of americans swarming the lincoln memorial is an awe-inspiring sight for me as a filipino. politically, america is everything we're not. watching them beaming with pride as they strut their flags makes me wonder, when will we be proud of our country again? but if they can, i dare say, yes, the filipino can.

now back to the coverage...

###

cold feet

sunday morning and a bag of bagel

those toes that thumped, releasde a shudder

oh, mary fairy mayweather

such sight may slight the feather

stoop and slow down, hands dipped the slits

not a morsel, not a dime

stealing glances, taking chances

ah! snippets of her reveal a fortune

the wind, combing the length of her crowning glory

like the sea that surfs to the shore

snap the nut! of pine droppings

a scoundrel to my pining

out of the way, out, out and about!

with great zeal, released a force did i

zing, zing, zing, zoom it went

fluttered with might it did

lost in the wind, mired with fraud

boom! like a seed on a forehead, oh no!

summon the birds, hear me

peck the heck out of that beauty

my face, my face

i can never show my face.

###

the ultimate freedom: going nowhere, not be found

"there is pleasure in the pathless woods;

there is a rapture on the lonely shore;

there is society where none intrudes;

by the deep sea, and music in its roar;

i love the man not less, but nature more."

- lord byron

christopher johnson mccandless led a convenient life - a father who works at nasa and a mother, in the same industry, grew up in the upscale suburbs of virginia. but despite the material wealth, he is tormented by fear of a broken family especially when his parents spite each other because of money, not the lack of it but acquiring more. this emotional sadness intensified his idealism and became more athletic. as captain of cross-country team in high school, he treats running as a spiritual exercise as if he were "running against the forces of darkness...of all evil in the world" and shared this thought with his team. his idealism is further nurtured by the characters of tolstoy, jack london and especially thoreau - his inspiration for his solitary introspection-cum-adventure, an emancipation from material society. he graduated from emory university in 1990 with majors in history and anthropology. he got an honors invite from phi beta kappa society but he declined the association on the premise does not need titles, honors to be happy. two months after graduation, he would turn his life around.

and so when he finally decided to embark on his adventure, he did it with 'characteristic immoderation'. he burned his social security id, discarded his credit cards and other identifications; donated his life savings of $24,000 to oxfam - an organization founded to provide lasting solutions to poverty and injustice. armed with his backpack of clothes and shoes, at first he did not know where to go. along the way he would find his resolve - to go and live in the alaskan wilderness. determined to stick to his ideals, he burned his remaining money and only relies on what nature can offer him. "i don't need money, it makes people cautious," he says. casting away his old identity, he christened himself with a new one - alexander supertramp. from now on, i will call him alex.

alex's travails include arizona, california and south dakota, where he worked at a granary. the farmers here taught him how to hunt and preserve the meat, which later turned out to be a bad advise. in northern california, he met gypsy couple, jan and rainey, who moves around in their truck. his interaction with the couple immersed himself with the modern nomads and the hippies. he was also able to paddle a canoe from colorado river to the gulf of mexico without a license. but more than the places, the people he met were inspired by his youth, his ideals, his zest on proclaiming them. some listened to his wisdom, some did put more wisdom on it. ron franz, an old man he met in southern california, became his pseudo-foster father for a while. they grew accustomed to each other and found they are on the same spectrum of solitude but on different perspectives - one hides his grief, the loss of his family, for the longest time in his leather shop, the other wants to go out and shun organized society. 

unanimously, they persuade alex from proceeding to his alaskan adventure without proper planning and tools. but society has probably taken its toll on this young man and he's already firm on his resolve. ron contributed some of his supplies, jan gave him a knitted hat, and more than that, the wealth of experience he had with these people. so off he went to alaska.

along his trail, he found a derelict and abandoned bus, he called it magic bus 140. it became his address in the alaskan nowhere. a total of 112 days out there feeding on berries and other fruits, hunting game. once he killed a moose, as advised he smoked the meat and found out to be spoilt later. he regrets killing the moose, never killed one again. in his camp, he's also nourished by the books he brought along, kept a journal of his experience. inevitably, nature can just be still and stand watching you suffer. he ate a wild potato root which can paralyze its victim. alex weakened and no longer find the right nourishment. his loose clothes were a testament to his affliction. as each belt hole adjusted inwards, his feet gravely sunk deeper into the ground. when his vision of the world slowly waned, he saw himself in the arms of his parents, happy to have him again - what if. he didn't close his eyes, tears fell in slow motion, then he finally experienced a whole new light.

at his last breath, he revised his mantra: happiness only real when shared.

found in his august 12, 1992 journal entry entitled 'beautiful blueberries' was a torn page with an excerpt from robinson jeffers' poem 'wise men in their bad hours':

death's a fierce meadowlark: but to die having made

something more equal to centuries

than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness.

the mountains are dead stone, the people

admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness,

the mountains are not softened or troubled

and a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper.

at the back of the page, he wrote and signed it with his right name:

"I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!"

- Christopher Johnson Mccandless

he needed to experience this odyssey to define his freedom, what makes him happy. too bad, his realizations became too late. and the best experience of his life happened on the brink of death. his experience need not be experienced by anyone.

i am quite drawn to his story which is explained by the length of the artik and the good 90 minutes spent writing it. i even traced his trail via google earth. and boy, was that amazing, he almost walked all of america! i have an eccentricity of my own - that experience of travelling incognito, experiencing new human relations excites me, but not as extreme as chris'. i really loved the film adaptation.